Reasons To Be Cheerful

- New England in the springtime.


- Paddling in the Conneticut River.


- Walking barefoot in the woods.


- A 50-mile view from my window over the White Mountains.


- A fridge full of cold bottles of Samuel Adams ale. 


- A beautiful theatre and an appreciative audience.


- Being paid to experience all of the above.


I love my job.
1.5.04 15:21


Back

I can't tell you how happy I am to be back behind a desk. No, really. Answering phones is so much more fun than hanging out drinking cold beers in backwoods USA. Honest.


 


Nnghnghnghnghnghnghnghnghnghngh.
10.5.04 13:51


Mistaken

I'm strolling down my street this morning, wending my jet-lag-addled way past a queue of stationary traffic, when a guy in a blue Mini Cooper waves at me.


Oh, thinks I, Isn't that the nice Asian bloke who used to live in our block of flats - the one who lent us a couple of chairs that time we had a dinner party?


So I wave back.


"You're looking good!" he yells.


"Thanks a lot!" I yell in reply.


"You want a lift?"


"I'm okay, I'm only going round the corner! See you!"


"What's your number? We should meet up!"


"Okay! It's ***********!"


"I'll call you! What's your name?"


Hang on. What's my name? He knows my name. He lived two doors down from me for at least a year. Unless... unless he isn't my old neighbour at all.


In which case I have just given my mobile number to a total stranger.


Oh tits.


He drives off. I walk on. The blue Mini drives past me again. Then again. Then again. I hide behind a Renault Espace.


There's a moral to this story, I'm sure of it...
10.5.04 15:55


Blind

I'm off on a date with a certain comedian tonight. I believe I am Date Number 16. (Not so much sloppy seconds as sloppy sixteenths).


We are going to a party in the House of Lords, so I shall shortly be changing into my cocktail dress in the toilets of Clerkenwell Towers. I shall then go and meet him in a pub somewhere in Westminster. I shall be holding a small can of Carnation Evaporated Milk to identify myself.


I think I can safely say that this is going to be a somewhat surreal evening.
10.5.04 16:58


Number 15

I went on a very silly date last night with a guy who is also seeing 49 other women. I gave him a can of evaporated milk. He took me to the House of Lords and we pretended to be people called Chandros and Rebecca. We drank stupid amounts of white wine. And then we had a cheeky snog.


I like him.


I really like him.


 


Oh, tits.
11.5.04 17:51


Things I Learned In America

1. When in a restaurant, always ask for a small portion. If you ask for "regular" you will regret it later when you discover that you no longer fit into any of your clothes.


2. Michelob is pronounced "Mikkel-ohb". If you ask for a "Misshel-ob", the waitress will (a) not understand you, (b) laugh in your face and (c) assume you are French Canadian.


3.  Dan and Whit's General Store is the best shop in the world. Ever. And I have the t-shirt to prove it.
12.5.04 14:19


Voyeur

Someone at work just sent me a link to the footage of that poor American guy being decapitated. I haven't looked at it, obviously. It's horrific and tragic, and it's terrible that people are watching it as some sort of sick entertainment.


And yet, a tiny, dark part of me wants to look.


Does this make me a bad person?
12.5.04 14:30


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